Admittedly, I wander. Usually when riding my bike I feel completely full of bliss and think to myself and sometimes say aloud (now that everybody's car windows are closed), "I feel so happy!" Sometimes when I stop, when I stand still, I feel confused. I want to go but I don't know which direction to turn, if at all.
I am so eager to arrive at a destination I am beginning to reconcile may be unknown, or not entirely known. After a good chat with the 
I feel convicted. I need to relax. I need to let beauty unfold before me, to allow beauty into my life. I rode my bike hastily and purposefully through the city streets. When I feel lost, I ride. On long rides, I lose myself. Only when I lose my current self do I feel the hope of incarnation.
It's nearly impossible to get lost on the streets of a city I intentionally make my home. I found myself instead at a coffee shop, where I hoped to descend into a state of meditation. Plugged in I perused previous blog entries and found a comment from my cousin Joe. His voice urged Slower, more Present living.
Slow down. Accept beauty. Create space for the unknown. Listen for the voice of conscience.
I walked away from my boss this afternoon, pointing toward my own head, "Shut up, Emily," I pleaded with myself. Allow for beauty and live into it.
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