Surprise!

Have you ever surprised yourself?

Sometimes I surprise myself.  Most recently, this happened after I'd had one or two or three drinks (spread over more than that many hours, so don't get the idea that I was falling all over myself.  I wasn't.).

I sat, with my legs curled under me, in the corner of a friend's couch, talking about my then-upcoming weekend, which has become the present.  I am overnight nannying for a family I've known and cared for since the boy was in diapers.  The girl is in middle school now.  It is an honor to be invited into this home, into this family's life, time and time again over the years.  I clumsily explained why spending my weekend (off from teaching) with two kids appealed to me, a single-and-loving it twenty-something. 

"Sometimes I'm afraid of being forgotten."  The words dripped down my chin as I sat wide-eyed.  Did I hear that correctly?  Did that just happen?  The truth I didn't know hung in the air as I wished to reel them in, wipe the sticky truth off my face and return to innocent ignorance.

Thank you, friend, for being receptive.  For not batting an eyelash.  For letting me surprise myself then letting me shut myself up without requiring me so to do.  Thank you for being safe.

I'm living that upcoming weekend now.  It is simple, it is beautiful.  We know each other well and we are not forgotten.